Adults should have an understanding of personality development in order to support children in becoming and belonging to their culture, place, and time, and to help them fulfill their optimal development.
There are many factors that contribute to the personality development of children. One of the dominant theories is that children are born with a basic temperament made up of three core traits: easy, difficult or spirited, and slow to warm up. There are also categories of behaviors that describe how a child responds to new situations, their activity level, their level of energy, their ability to focus, etc. Children come into the world with a set of tools that is unique to them. Our job is to observe and prepare an environment that best suits their temperament and behaviors.
Sexual and gender identity also need to be considered in our interactions and language around children. Internal sex organs are developed in the womb during the embryonic period, the 5th week to the 10th week of pregnancy. This can be influenced by the hormonal environment in the mother’s womb. By 18-24 months, children can understand the difference between a man and a woman. By age three, they are able to identify themselves as a boy or a girl, and by age 4, they have a stable sense of their gender identity. From ages 6-9, children understand the gender roles of their culture and take on those manifestations.
A child’s body scheme and self image also influence their personality development. Our body scheme is what gives us the understanding or mental image of our body and how much space we occupy in a physical environment. We use this to orient ourselves to the world. Self image is the image we form of ourselves based on the way we are treated by others.
The attitudes of adults also shape the personalities of children. Adults generally have either a sense of acceptance or rejection towards their child. Acceptance is the ideal attitude where the adult accepts the child for who they are even if they are different from them. Rejection can occur when a parent is disappointed in the assigned gender of the child or a lack of understanding of the child’s temperament. Rejection can also be described as perfectionism or overprotection. Parents might try to “improve” their child and perceive imperfections when they don’t match their idea of who the child should be. Overprotection might manifest as the adult being overly concerned and protective of their child, they might also be very critical of their child’s other caregivers like teachers or babysitters.
Our interactions with children should always be of 100% acceptance! We must observe children and their temperaments but also have time to self-reflect and think about our own attitudes. We want to make sure that our attitudes are not getting in they way of the child’s development. The feeling of being accepted completely for who you are can provide a great feeling of confidence and self-esteem to navigate the world. We are all uniquely special and have a lot to contribute just the way we are!